Christmas spirit

The spirit of Christmas is in the hands of the giver, which, if you're not careful, can put you in the hands of the receiver.

Interest Rate hikes.

Interest rate hikes: the belt you get for not having tightened your belt.

The curse of being shy.

Never be shy - people might throw coconuts at you!

Ouch!

What puts some in a flap, makes others go all of a twitter, and we'd all be pleased to hear going cheap? - the bird flu jab.

In the Pink.

Sexist terminology sometimes works against the male. But don't worry fellas - she'll be right!

Heroes.

There are too many heroes ... give wimps a go!

Making a meal of it.

Revenge is sweet, but has a tendency to turn sour.

Human Race.

We don't have to win the human race - just save it.

Michael Jackson.

FOR the sake of innocent young boys, Michael Jackson should be encouraged to perform his "Moon Walk" just one more time...and stay there!

Family Tree

I NEVER have any luck...when I looked up my family tree...it was a bonsai!